I’ve got something I want to get off my chest… and it’s not a bra.
No, “Your t*ts are bigger than mine” jokes either, thanks.
First though, I have to frame this and put into context.
At school there was an athletic kid who could do backflips in the playground. For some silly reason there was a thing called, “The hardest person in the year,” and I seem to remember the kids in our year had him down as number 4 (how do they decide upon such things). Back then I was the fastest runner in my form, but this guy could run 100 metres in 11 seconds which is next level shizzle!
I remember standing next to the flapjack serving hatch and marvelling at him back-flipping away to his hearts content.
To me that’s a bit like having a superpower. His brain thought of something and next thing you know, he’s back-flipping his way into the air and landing again, smooth as silk.
It never really got old. “Do it again“, people would say excitedly.
I also marvel at people who can do snowboarding tricks or skate up a half pipe and pull off a trick at the top. Some people’s brains just work that way.
Me?
This is the funny thing. I think I have above average co-ordination with some things.
I can do things on a treadmill that most people would NEVER attempt. I can walk sideways, rhythmically, switching my feet positioning around and I never lose my footing. I’ve never tripped or fallen off doing this. It’s as natural to me as stretching my arms when I wake up in the morning.
I can almost do an Ali Shuffle on the gym floor. Again, I’ve never seen anyone else doing this in a gym, mainly because you have to be a bit nuts to do it and that’s exactly what I am (ha ha).
So you’d think I’d be able to co-ordinate simple dance moves as well, right?
Wrong. I can do my own silly stuff, but you know when it’s pre-set on a music video.
Like this one for example called the Cha Cha Slide from years ago…
I don’t know whether I just overthink it or what, but it never quite works out, not that I’ve ever tried that hard.
Women, generally speaking, are brilliant at it so I’m quite happy just admiring it all.
It must be how the mind works. I can sprint like a lunatic and my co-ordination is bang on the money when it comes to things like that, so it’s not how my neurons fire to make my body do certain things.
I don’t get it really to be honest. I think this is why I admire people who can backflip, dance their pants off and pull off impressive moves without breaking a bead of sweat.
Back in the 90’s I was in Tenerife and it was like every woman in the place knew the Macarena. I bet anyone who knew that dance back then, could get up in the middle of the office and do it right now as well.
Might get some strange looks from the millenials but it’s a small price to pay. LOL imagine doing that by the water dispenser.
Sounds like my kind of office to be honest.Β Much more interesting than someone just coming back with a coffee.
Impressive as all that is though, I still think the coolest thing ever is if you can do a kick-flip π
Anyhoo, I’m open to someone teaching me a few moves. I’ll never be great at it but I’ll trade you that for what my superpowers are.
I haven’t quite decided EXACTLY what they are yet, but I do have them so I need to write a list.
Dean’s Superpowers
1. ___________
I’m not doing it right now (I’m sure if you’ve read much of this blog you’d already have a fair idea)…
Someone asked me if I’d be their PT the other day. I couldn’t decide if this was a genuine request or light flirtation. Either way, I’ve never gone down that rabbit hole as everyone seems to be a personal trainer these days.
I see people with stick thin arms who haven’t got enough energy to do up their own shoelaces, waltzing around as personal trainers. What are they going to train you to do? Sharpen a HB pencil? lol.
Can you imagine the gym interviews for personal trainers in the average commercial gym?
“Oh hello. We didn’t expect you to actually have any muscles or look like you train. We think you’re over qualified.”
Look at that. I just wrote another blog post didn’t it. One more down on the road to 100.
Thanks for reading – let’s play this one out with something random by Baby D as I can’t be bothered to think of a reason for the music video this afternoon…