Freshly Spilled Thoughts

I have a bit more time for no-talent ass-clown graffiti artists if they blend in humour with an appreciation for future visitors. The other day I noticed this one (much better than Hue with his black spray can)…

Hue’s best graffiti was “Walk It Off :-)”, which I presume was aimed at the Sunday pub lunch brigade. I was tempted to write “& Cry” after his name as well. “Hue & Cry” (he wouldn’t know who that was, would he?)

When you cross the mental bridge to Terabithia, nothing can defeat you…

Nigel Planer from The Young Ones was on the radio the other day, talking about the time he was injured by a giant twenty-foot chocolate éclair, and about when he once answered an ad for a room while dressed as Che Guevara. His book sounded quite interesting.

I’ve never been injured by any type of cake, but I did once fall down the stairs in Jimmy Spice’s, when I obscured my vision by looking at the change I had jingling around in my pocket (such a rookie mistake).

I also once enthusiastically waved goodbye to someone and fell over a wall. After that happened, I made my farewells decidedly more static.

Before Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift shagged up the pop charts and turned music into a 4 letter word, there was a time when music was tongue in cheek, and it was all the better for it.

What would you rather have? Ed Sheeran boring everyone to death about meeting up with mates he doesn’t give a shit about, on the castle on the hill, when he used to get pissed on Hooch and Lambrini sprawled over a car bonnet… or Positive K with “I Got A Man”

How long you had that problem. What’s your man got to do with me.

I’m not trying to hear that, see.

It was all a bit of fun wasn’t it.

When the greeks make a phone booth, they don’t order it from IKEA…

I sometimes see a bloke who gets very angry with bins that are in his way when he’s walking. Instead of walking around the bin, he stops, gets angry, then pushes it out of the way so he can continue in a straight line. He also walks very fast, almost in a military style, and I sort of think he’s wonderful.

I never thought I’d enjoy watching someone so angry. It’s a source of great delight when I can see that, ahead of him, there’s a bin that will need to be moved.

The only thing missing is the popcorn.

This is for anyone that doesn’t realise how amazing they are 🤩

Do you ever watch Kung Fu? ☯🥷

#OfficeSpace 🏢

I made an amazing Thai Green Curry tonight, even if I do say so myself.

It was so good I forgot to take a photo, so sadly there is no evidence of this accomplishment.

The curry may be gone, but the memories will live on.

I was walking past a bridge and saw this.

Fans of the show will get it…

I have set up notes so readers can reply privately/give feedback/flirt/hurl abuse/rant/tell me jokes/you get the picture (the spam b-o-t-s are a headache ya see). I’ve throttled it with a limit per hour so we’ll see how that goes.

For now we have Private Replies and my work here is done 🙂 Hurrah! Leaving all this as it is now and will just post.

Would love to know what people think. It took me longer than half an hour and less than a day, but love don’t pay the rent.

Things you never overhear in lifts or bus queues:

Thing #1: Black pants or red ones today… or did you go commando? Bit cold for that though, right. How cold has it been today! Frrrreezzzinnggg.

Finally testing Video now – Out running with Kate Bush…

In real life I walk around in black and white as well…

Feel free to colour yourself in… if you’re into that sort of thing.

TFI Friday. No work until next week. *Crowd Roars*

I love Milton:

“The people to cake ratio is too big”

“I believe you have my stapler”

What else could I add to this page to knock your socks off? Answers on a postcard (via the contact page).

I went to the cinema last night. At the end of the film, everyone cheered (I’ve never known that to happen before). There was also this annoying bloke next to me who seemed to be having a love affair with sweet wrappers, and his wife (assume it was his wife) seemed to be counting them. WTF. I haven’t given them a nickname yet, but for now I am going to call them, “The Cinema Goers From Hell” 🙂

I can imagine the convo:

“Margaret, don’t forget, we split the sweets equally!”
“Don’t worry, I’ll count them in the cinema while the film is on and rustle them about a bit.”
“Great. I’ll repeatedly click the drinks bottle as well just to aggravate whoever is sitting next to me”
“What film is it again?”
“Who cares.”

After the latest revelations about paracetamol, the term: “Not tonight, I’ve got a headache” has turned pain relief into a national emergency. They’ll be saying viagra makes you better at comedy, next.

I never wrote this bit in quotes but I 100% agree. What the world wants you to be isn’t YOU…

[the bit I didn’t write]

“The secret to confidence is just to be yourself. No fakery. No acting. No fancy logos. No polished Instagram pictures. No highlight reels. No “here’s my Lambo, bro.” Nope. Just be yourself.

[end of the bit I didn’t write]

Back to me again…

That is your superpower (a lot of people don’t get this). People don’t need self-help books or overpaid therapists, they just need to be the awesome person they already are.

Well I am anyway ha ha.

Aren’t bananas disappointing when you peel them and you discover they have decided to ripen in secret (at which point they are no good to man nor beast). Personally I like them firm but fair, myself (not green though). How about you?