Freshly Spilled Thoughts

X (Or Twitter as I like to call it) is overrun by DM bots these days. I never realised this until I temporarily allowed anyone to message me. Here’s basically what is happening behind the scenes as far as I’ve gathered:

1) Someone (either the model or the agency/affiliate for the model) buys or somehow acquires a real aged Twitter account and pays for it to be verified. This acts as a burner account. I think they pay for verification to make it look more legit, and the laws of idiocracy means people trust blue ticks now.
2) The burner account is then userd as a bot driven DM conduit to an Only Fans page where they try to get mug punters behind a paywall for the model (mission accomplished)
3) 3 or 4 photos are added to the burn account to hook the lusty types in.
4) A bot then goes out and engages with people in DM’s. Should someone accept the chat it then initiates a disarming AI driven sales script with the end goal to get them to pay for an Only Fans subscription. It even tries to hit with you guilt/manipulation tactics to suck you in if you’re on the fence about w*nking your way into the record books (no other way of putting it).
5) During the course of the conversation some lewdish photos are posted by the bot in an attempt to get the male recipient into a state where only the lower brain is engaged (not difficult to do).

I sometimes engage in conversations with bots just to see how sophisticated the AI Chatbot is. One of the things about AI is it will trip up if you ask it to describe the surroundings in a photo or even right now. It will do that by over explaining what is in the background, but it just won’t sound right.

I asked it this question and it told me there was a painted wall in the background. LOL nobody talks like that in real life. If somoene sent you a lusty photo and you replied with, “Cheers for that, do you mind explaining what is in the background”, I suspect most people would think you were a nerdy weirdo.

I can imagine quite a few people still get taken in by this because half of the population are brain dead.

Here’s one I got the other day:

As you can see, if that account was genuine the model joined X/Twitter when they were 6 but managed to hold off messaging on there for over 10 years.

The bot is very sneaky and it tries to get you to believe that you have so much in common and that they live nearby. This one reckons she (if you can call a bot a ‘she’) lives in Wolverhampton. Yeah, right.

Over time all this shit is only going to become more convincing and we’re going to end up spending more of our time conversing with f*cking bots online thinking they are real people. Don’t think that this isn’t becoming part of your life, there are armies of human customer support people being replaced by AI as I type this.

This aint good Rodders, as Del Boy would say. All I can say is that there must be a fortune to be made as a numbers game promoting people on Only Fans. The fapping brigade clearly can’t get enough of all this… whoever said the internet was full of w*nkers.

This could have been a fully fledged blog post but I’ve lodged it in the today section. Be careful, it’s a jungle out there kids.

Online, everyone is a commodity for these automated parasites and if you’re not careful, you end up being ‘the mark’.

You know what really makes me sad?

There are people out there who aren’t very computer literate who will perceive they are talking to their dream woman who likes getting her tits out on OnlyFans. There’s something rather tragic about that.

Mug Punter: “I met my dream girl online”
Not So Mug Punter: “Yeah?”
Mug Punter: “Well, she messaged me one day on social media”
Not So Mug Punter: “Yeah?”
Mug Punter: “Then she sent me a picture with her top off”
Not So Mug Punter: “Interesting. What happened after that?”
Mug Punter: “She got me to subscribe to her Only Fans for £5 per month”
Not So Mug Punter: “Wow. You’ve hit the jackpot. You can’t put a price on love, but if you did, £5 is a steal”
Mug Punter: “I know. I’m helping to support her through her studies. She wouldn’t be doing it otherwise”
Not So Mug Punter: “Sure. Keep drinking that Kool-Aid.”

Someone I know once met up with a hooker for an actual date from some adult website (i.e. he wasn’t a punter). Imagine the ad headline: “Hooker By Trade, Seeking Love In Between Clients”. He was a really genuine guy as well… but it gets worse. She’d just seen a client so he had to wait for her to finish before they went out.

That must be the worst date scenario I’ve ever heard of in real life. What was he thinking!?

He said to me, “FFS you’d think she’d have taken the afternoon off at least.”

The tragedy of it mixed with the comedy still makes me laugh… but I felt overwhelmingly bad for him as I could tell he was just a decent guy who wanted company.

Loneliness is a funny thing – some people can’t cope with their own company. They don’t want to know (or can’t cope with) who they are, so they have to fill the void with something before they go crazy.

Anything will do. I think these people would go out with a loaf of bread if it conversed with them and wore bright red lipstick.

Sometimes in life you just can’t get your hat off to what goes out there in the urban ghetto.

Considering we’re nearly in November it’s a beautiful day.

My niece’s horse this morning:

I swear to God that sometimes I think that the universe is listening, and everything is already kinda mapped out for us.

It’s either that or it’s a case of spooky recognition. You know, like when you buy a Mini, all of a sudden you notice every single Mini on the road that passes you. Our brains ‘tune in’ to that frequency.

Here’s a case in point…

The other day I watched a programme about time travel and I was quite literally thinking about this subject earlier. Someone I don’t know, decided to slide into my DM’s and sent me this:

Spooky, don’t you think?

Even if that’s a bot sending me a message, it’s still too uncanny for me.

The universe knows something. I think we send out energy mentally – a bit like telepathy… and that orbits back to us somehow.

Now I love the IDEA of time travel, as far as books and movies go. After thinking about this though, I don’t really want this to ever become a thing and I hope humans never accomplish it (assuming they haven’t already).

Sure, I’d love to go back to the beginning of Hollywood and work with Buster Keaton on a movie.

Sure, I’d love to go back in time and spend a bit longer chatting with my grandfather while we picked blackberries. Oh, how I’d love it.

Sure, I’d love to pop in and see what Henry VIII was like on a good day before he shouted “off with their heads”.

Or rewrite bits of history like Groundhog Day until I got it 100% right.

But life isn’t like that and it’s not meant to be. I hope they never find a way to travel through that worm hole and come out the other end in one piece.

Humans screw up too many things to trust that we’d use that power wisely. No thanks, you can keep your time travel in real life guv’nor.

All we have is the wonder of now. It’s possibly the most fluid and liberating thing, if you embrace that without wanting to get in a DeLorean and go somewhere else. Right now is always where it is at and it’s what you are thinking and doing right now that will shape tomorrow.

Time travel. Bloody love it in books/movies, and that’s where it will hopefully always stay.

I will leave you with this…

A spark becomes a thought. A thought becomes an action. An action creates movement. Movement builds momentum. Momentum becomes energy… and that energy can grow into something unstoppable.

It all starts with something so small, on another day you may have just dismissed it.

Have a great rest of your day.

Have you ever noticed that when you don’t go to the dentists, you don’t need any work doing.

Reminds me of a conversation I had once with a friend of mine:

Friend: “I haven’t got any fillings”
Me: “When did you last go to the dentists?”
Friend: “About 10 years ago”
Me: “Yeah, that’s why.””
Friend: “Shit.”

I’m also reminded me of this joke (and it’s a good one)

Today I was hoping to get away with a scale and polish, then just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in.

After going over my x-ray with a fine toothcomb, it turns out I’ve got to have a filling drilled out and re-filled.

Don’t you just hate it when that happens!?

I am not a big fan of teeth and the pre-requisite amount of brushing required just to keep them in your head.

They are such a high maintenance thing – whatever was God thinking of?

I think the omnipresent one should have given us all titanium teeth from the outset.

I’m bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away

You shoot me down, but I won’t fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down, but I won’t fall
I am titanium

For fun, some people find abandoned buildings and explore them. It’s pretty amazing what is still inside some of them – they are like museums for nostalgia. I thought this thing found in an abandoned care home was pretty sweet…

I was being a bit coy referencing “Into the Wonderful” in my last post.

When I was about 15 my mate gave me a copy of a game called “Gods” and there was a speech sample on it I’ll never forget, where the person speaking on the track says, “Into the Wonderful“.

Doesn’t sound like much now, but back then it was mind blowing in a way that’s impossible to articulate in 2025.

I liked it so much I bought the domain on a whim, but I haven’t done anything with it.

Yes, I own intothewonderful.com (don’t bother checking it there’s nothing there lol).

Some things just stick with you, don’t they. Happy days, our kid.

Here’s the remaster:

Did you miss me, or just the wordy chaos?

I knowww, I went quiet for a bit on here.

Not on purpose… I got temporarily kidnapped by the distractions of life and didn’t bother to struggle too much.

Anyhoo, coffee’s poured, words are flowing, and the nonsense machine is back in business.

As if it ever really stopped, eh.

Back now with the usual spontaneous verbiage and some freshly spilled ink.

Let’s do this thang and ride the thought wave as we go ‘Into the Wonderful‘ (whatever that is).

I think I’ve bought every Stephen King Short story collection since the very first one I picked up in early 2003.

It was called ‘Everything’s Eventual’. At the time I remember liking the story, “Lunch At The Gotham Cafe”. I was in love with a girl I was seeing at the time, and she liked Stephen King as well, so I bought her this book. Basically, I thought she was ‘the one’ but, as is so often the case, life did not work out that way at the time, despite my efforts. On a lighter note, the story she liked was, “The Man in the Black Suit”.

It’s a bit worse for wear now but I’ve still got the collection…

King and Michael Marshall Smith are probably my favourite short story writers. Whenever I pick up a new Stephen King story collection, I always wonder what she would have thought of them.

I remember reading another short story collection that year by a writer called Matthew Klam.

It was called Sam the Cat, although it had nothing to do with pet cats. A woman at work asked me what book I was reading one day and I showed her the front cover…

She stared at it for a second as she took in the picture of the cat on the front cover with the attention span of a goldfish, before turning her attention back to whatever it was she was doing, prior to rudely interrupting me.

Judging by her disinterested expression, I’m sure she thought I was reading a book about cats or some kind of children’s book. She probably pigeon-holed me as some simpleton that sits there reading stories that teach me the alphabet.

I briefly contemplated explaining what the book was about, but she was a bit of an empty-vessel-type so I stopped myself.  You know, the sort that would get confused if orange juice said “concentrate” on the carton.

“How long before I can stop staring at this stupid carton?” 

Maybe she was hoping to borrow ’50 Shades of Smut’ off me when I’d finished it, and was left altogether deflated by my innocent looking cat-read (lol).

Still makes me laugh that she thought I’d brought a book into work to read about pets.

“Yeah, Michelle… it’s a book about cats, doncha know. Sheesh”

“Dean was reading a book about a cat called Sam, earlier. He’ll be reading Andy Pandy next.”

I went through a phase of watching comedy for an hour first thing every day before I did anything else. Let me tell  you something, it was absolutely brilliant and I’d recommend it to anyone if they have time.

Usually I’d watch:

Frasier (never used to like this at all but I’ve turned into Clive James as TV has dumbed down)
The World According to Jim 
Everybody Loves Raymond

Depending on what was on. They just happened to be on at that time when I got up.

Anyone who gets up in the morning watching news should do this instead.  You aren’t wasting an hour, you’re investing in comedy.

How to Massively Increase Your Happiness

1) Never watch the news unless it’s about a murder (everyone loves a good murder)
2) Swap news for comedy (spotting the pattern yet?)
3) Eat a banana (it’s nature’s answer to Prozac)
4) Decide you’re never going to become jaded, bitter or cynical. Kids don’t look at the world the way jaded adults do.
5) Do exercise even if it’s just walking. Your body is connected to your mind.
6) Cut the deadwood out of your life (cull fair weather friends and energy vampires)
7) Find someone that you don’t have to change who you are for. Don’t try to change them either.
8) Get out into nature. Feed the birds or something. Look at green things (apart from The Hulk)
9) Never lose your sense of wonder. Magic does exist, it’s already inside of YOU.
10) Bottom line people’s actions. It’s what people do that counts, not what they say.

Bonus: Cross The Bridge to Terabithia

Have a great rest of your day.

I’ve been hearing some crazy dating stories lately, the kind that make you question whether anyone actually meets naturally anymore.

I’d like to think people still met in a fruit and veg aisle or even a pub, but it seems that most people I talk to are lost in a world of apps, swiping right and left in between meals without ruining their appetite.

During one phase where I was single I went on one of the swipe-fast, swipe-often apps and recognised quite a few of the people on them in real life, including the woman on the front desk at my old gym. It was really quite surreal seeing these people on a dating app in a different context.

Eventually I got bored and just swiped right until I ran out of credits. I even matched my mates ex girlfriend which she obviously told him about on Facebook, because next time I went out with him he asked me about it. I didn’t even know I’d matched her until her photo flashed up on the app. You have to laugh.

It all seems a bit vacuous to me because you don’t know anything about them other than whether you find them vaguely attractive in a photo (unless you know them already of course LOL). A photo that could be 10 years old or something.

A friend of mine once met a guy from an app at a train station. He looked nothing like his photo, and when they went for breakfast, he didn’t even have the money to pay (yes, she bought him breakfast). She nicknamed him ‘Breakfast’ after that and dropped him like a bad habit.

I happen to think that eye contact remains undefeated and connections happen when you least expect them.

One thing is for sure, life is more interesting when you’re not looking too hard for what’s next. It’s a motto to live by.

Sightseers is a very dark comedy film about a caravan holiday.

Couple of quotes from it that made me laugh:

Tina: You all right?
Carol: I was just thinking about Poppy. She was me only friend.
Tina: Oh, Mum. I’m your friend.
Carol: You’re not a friend. You’re just a relative.

Just for fun and my last post about Bonnie Parker…

From Dust to Asphalt

We once left trails of dirt and flame,
Now it’s tyre tracks that spell my name.
The world’s gone slick, but I still spar
With fate, with cops, with who we are.

I had a go on a VR headset not long ago. One thing nobody tells you when you’re using these things is how dizzy they make you until you get used to them. Anyway, this is what I did:

* Went Around A Space Station and Had A Look Out At The Universe
* Had A Quick Trip On A Boat With A Fisherman
* Spent Some Time Underwater Looking At Tropical Fish
* Walked Around A Local Market In Cairo (it’s local if you happen to live in Egypt)
* Indulged Myself In A 3D World Holding A Pair Of Guns (Nearest I Get To Being Clint Eastwood)

This picture is 100% real apart from the train next to me:

I never wrote this, but what this person is saying is 100% true, none more so than on social media which is just full of angry ranters and people disgruntled over the tiniest things.

These people have, at their disposal, one of the most powerful things ever invented (the Internet) and they go on there moaning about (really boring) things like Politics.

Things that will never change their life in any way, shape or form… and they’re spending their time moaning about it while the elite are laughing their tits off at what the hoi polloi are up to on the daily.

Creativity is a needle-mover and it makes you happy(ier). Some of the most awesome people I know are creators and if I was in a room I’d rather be in one full of them.

I just opened a fortune cookie and the note inside it read:

“HAPPINESS WILL BE YOURS NEXT WEEKEND” (yes, it did say this in caps)

Ooh, that sounds interesting. I wonder how that works… does it hit you in the face with happiness first thing Saturday morning or is it a build-up that leads to a happiness crescendo on Sunday evening?

All that aside,  it’s what I like about fortune cookies. There’s never a bad one.

Imagine opening one and reading:

“AVOID WALKING UNDER BRANCHES WITH PIGEONS SITTING ON THEM THIS THURSDAY”

Or…

“YOU ARE LIKELY TO GET COVERED IN PAINT ON WEDNESDAY AND RUIN YOUR FAVOURITE TOP”

I had a weird dream last night, where I briefly went into bungling crime. With no prior explanation, I was immediately in what must have been a bank vault with some other bloke I had no prior recollection of, who was as amateur as they come. I have no idea how or why I ended up in there.

All of a sudden, he stuffs his pockets with wads of illegitimate cash and I’m standing there thinking, “WTF, I need to get out of here and I’m inexplicably with this dufus“. He signals me to take the rest of the cash remaining. By this stage, there don’t seem to be many other options, so I pick up what’s left in the bag and we go.

Adrenaline surges through me.

This isn’t how I would have done things. Not even close.

We made our way out of the vault and there are cops already waiting. At this point, my unplanned associate pulls a gun and they reluctantly back off. We get out of there and into the daylight by the skin of our teeth. I know it’s just a matter of time before they catch us, and all I want to do is give the cash back and be free.

F*ck the proceeds of crime. Freedom wins. 

I must have had this dream because I was talking about Bonnie and Clyde yesterday, so let’s finish up with a few more words of imagined wisdom from Bonnie in the afterlife.

I’ll leave the rat-a-tat-tatting to her….

Elegy with a Trigger Finger

They say love kills,
but they don’t say how sweet the aim feels
when it’s shared.
We were poetry in crossfire,
a headline in waiting,
a kiss with a timer.

Now I watch the world survive itself,
each soul robbing time in slow motion.
Me? I still keep one hand on the wheel,
one eye on the past
because the getaway never ends.

This old Miami Bass video from the early 90’s called “One Leg Up” by Half Pint is pure filth (for want of a better expression).

It used to be on The Box, back in the day, before YouTube and the internet were a thing and I distinctly remember it being on a lot…

LOL it’s so bad it’s almost good, although I don’t think I will be listening to it in public.

“Dean, what you listening to?”
“Erm… One Leg Up by Half Pint”
“I’ve never heard of that. Was he trying to cut down on alcohol?”
“Not exactly. There was this thing in the early 90’s called Miami Bass where people shook their asses a lot”
“Yeah?”
“It was a 90’s thing”

Whatever you think about this track, one thing for sure it the energy in it is absolutely insane. Nobody needs caffeine while this thing is playing. Apparently the main guy was drafted in because people went crazy whenever he was around.

Imagine him as a warm up guy for gameshows. Oh dear, we don’t need the studio audience doing this sort of thing do we.

I always wonder how they cast people in these kinds of videos. It probably went something like this:

“We’ve got a video thing we’re doing for a track, where we just need you to shake your ass and put one leg up. Interested?”

There’s people that actually said “Yes” to that. Beats stacking shelves in Asda I guess.

“I was going to work for NASA and become an astronaut but the Miami Bass scene came along during studies and I got distracted.”

The day will come when people will proudly announce: “I can still do one leg up at my age and I don’t need a tri-walker.”

That’s a victory of sorts isn’t it. Right, that’s enough lewdness for one day!

If Bonnie hadn’t met Clyde, we’d probably never have ever seen a printed poem written by her.

Yet Bonnie Parker was the talented one, with her gift for poetry.

Sort of tragic isn’t it really; Bonnie being the moll with a knack for the written word.

Fame and notoriety gives you the platform for the talent. Talent speaks for itself.

What would Bonnie say today if she was speaking from the afterlife to the modern world as it is now?

Maybe something along these lines:

The Digital Outlaw

The headlines forgot my name,
But hearts still play the same game.
New masks, same ache,
New screens, same fake,
And fire still answers to flame.

I’m up so early this morning that the birds aren’t even twittering yet 🐦🐦‍⬛🦜.

I love this time of day – you can just sink into your thoughts for a bit before the world wakes up and prods you in the ribcage.

As SNESDrunk once said, “You have a great rest of your day.”

Which at the time of writing is pretty much all of it…

… some say it’s the gift that keeps on giving.

I liked this one as well…

An actual photograph of a Banksy artwork in real life + a few silly additions from moi…