Apparently your brain records everything that you have ever experienced. Obviously, there’s no way you can recall all of it unless you’re a savant and they’re usually socially stilted, so you don’t really want to be one of them if you can help it.
With all that said, there are certain things people say that stick with you forever.
Here a few that spring to mind for me (bear in mind I can be random):
“This bush used to be cultivated” – Nothing lewd here. This was one of the last things my grandfather ever said to me and the last thing I clearly remember him saying, like how he actually said it. I was helping him pick blackberries/gooseberries etc at the end of his garden and he seemed annoyed by the fact it had all become so overgrown. He gave me a cutting off the bush to plant in the garden at home.
“I want to be out there Dean” – I was on holiday in Tenerife in an Irish bar. My mate was tearful and looking out of the window at the revellers outside. He turned to me and said this (I have no idea why and I didn’t ask either). Probably fancied one of the girls walking past lol.
“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.” – This is quite a well known saying from Dr. Seuss but only one person has ever said that to me and I think that’s why it stuck.
“Why have a burger when you have steak at home?” – It’s quite nice to be thought of as steak. Not the frying steak though, you have to at least reach medallion status to be superior to a burger of course, especially with all these gourmet burgers knocking around these days.
“The only thing that runs on you is your nose” – Another one of my grandfathers. He didn’t do compliments, it was mainly sarcastic humour. When I was a kid I said my leg was hurting and I he came back with a rusty saw, then said, “Which one is it? I’ll chop it off for you”. My cup of joy did brimmeth over.
“Did you see the person faint half way through the film?” – I was watching a horror film at the cinema with my mate. Apparently a woman fainted and got carried off along the middle of the aisle. I was oblivious to all this as I am good at focusing when I am watching a film. I said, “Which part of the film was that” and my mate couldn’t believe I never registered any of the real life happenings.
“You’ve got the brains of a chocolate frog” – That was my dads way of encouraging me when I was a kid, although I don’t hold it against him. Makes me laugh now in a way.
“You still did well babe” – Someone once said this to me after I got a MENSA score of 136 in a test. I was going for 140 points. It’s 150 to be regarded as a genius so I demand a recount.
“They don’t grow potatoes like that ’round ‘ere” is another one. I’m sure it was written on a wooden beam in a pub (it was definitely in a pub anyway). They say some funny stuff in Birmingham, but that saying isn’t one of them and with my accent I couldn’t say it and get away with sounding like a local. I still don’t know what that actually means – is it something to do with planting potatoes or is it a variety that is area specific? I could Google it but I won’t. Help me out with this one if you own an allotment or summat because I haven’t got time to do any further digging [1].
[1] – I know, I know. Very droll.
“It’s only a bee sting” – This one is going back to the 90’s. I had got back from a run and sat in the garden in a deckchair. Clothes on the washing line were obscuring my view so I moved it forward to speak to my dad. The chair collapsed and severed my finger which was hanging on by a thread. I shouted, “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKKKKKKKKK” at the top of my voice. My mum threw a teatowel over my hand, apologised to the neighbours for my language and said to me, “It’s only a bee sting” as blood gushed out of it in a very displeasing way.
“Have you seen her there? There, over there, with the fair pair over there?” – My pervy mate who fancied a woman walking past the house; those were his exact words and I’m only including it because it’s something of a tongue twister. I didn’t see the woman with the fair pair, there, over there so I’ll have to take his word for it.
“Can you tell me the way to blue hotel?” – I haven’t got a scooby what or where the blue hotel was but this woman appeared from nowhere one day on holiday in Zakynthos asking us where the blue hotel was. I think the reason it sticks in my mind, was the way she said it and how she appeared ‘out of the blue’ like the magic shopkeeper in Mr Benn. At the time I wished I knew, because I think any hotel with the colour blue in front of it must be worth a quick gander.
“You’ve won the McCains Royal Mint competition” – Someone rang me one day to tell me I’d won a competition which I forgot I entered. I thought it was a set up until I realised I’d entered the thing. I had to fill a big barrel up with £2 coins using a metal scoop. Whatever I got in 25 seconds, they let me keep. That day I won £2660 and they gave us a meal in the restaurant which was basically one of those gourmet things where they lift the lid up and nothing is underneath it. I’d rather have had a chicken burger lol. The dessert was nice though.
Some things stick more than others because they are more impactful for some reason. Even some of the silly things.
Thanks for reading. See ya in the next one.
I’m randomly playing this one out with “Everything’s Gonna Be Alright” by Naughty By Nature…