It’s easy to stare at a page and get writer’s block.
What does one even say in a personal ad?
I suppose mine would look something like this:
6ft. Blue eyes. Athletic (when the stars align)
Enjoys running up hills like Kate Bush, and lifting weights to 90’s rap (playlist update overdue).
A lover of curves, comedy, movies and witty observations (self proclaimed). Just a few shades short of a genius, but sometimes puts the spoon in the fridge when distracted.
Looking for answers: Such as where socks vanish to in washing machines, and why rubber balls always come back.
Stimulating conversations a must, because staring at statues is something you only do in art galleries.
Non-smoker, so put out your cigarette. I don’t kiss ashtrays. High heels fine, though I only wear them at weekends [*].
That was off the cuff, but you get the idea.
Honestly, a much shorter ad might do the trick:
“Man. Apply within.”
I think this one wins because it has broad appeal and turns you into an instant blank canvas. You tick off the pre-requisite chromosome box and the rest is plain sailing. As Del Boy would say, “You know it makes sense.”
Better than the ones that say “Easy going”, before listing 47 deal-breakers. If you want zero flexibility, buy a cat, a budgie, or a mannequin (worked for Mr. Magoo although he did also have Barker).
Even Batman’s on Batinder these days. Personally, I’d have called it Catfinder.
Apps are all well and good for those that wish to swipe their way into the
record books, but I happen to agree with what someone else had to say about this:
“I don’t like the way apps have made people forget about connection. I’d like to be obsessed
with someone and for them to be obsessed with me again.“
You can’t establish connection with a surface-level attraction based app.
Hook-ups: Yes. Meaningful Connection: No.
Some people get lucky with this approach. Most don’t, but then life’s a lottery in many ways!
As always, thanks for reading and have a great weekend.
[*] I don’t really wear high heels (can’t find any my size).
And on that note, let’s play this one out with Temptation by Heaven 17…