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Running Up That Hill

Running Uphills Until I Turn Into Kate Bush

Posted on July 13, 2025July 14, 2025 by deanx

Take A Tour With Me As I Literally Go Running Up That Hill…

Blair Witch Style (LOL)

A couple of week ago I got COVID and as you may have noticed from my posts in this blog, I went down a bit of a rabbit hole. Reflecting on that, I think COVID puts you into a low mood. The low mood triggers the feelings and the feelings trigger the thoughts. In a nutshell, I revisited the past. I pulled up an armchair and relived it which made me feel like I was plonked right back there again for a while as if it was yesterday. This feeling lasted for over a week; it was painful and I had to shake myself out of it.

The point of this blog is me being honest. There’s no point in me writing about things if it’s all a load of bullshit. It’s who I am at this point in time and how I’m feeling, so whenever I write on here it will be from a position of truth.

I feel sorry for people that feel like that all the time. It’s how people end up doing silly things like jumping off bridges. I used to think suicide was for cowards, but people really do it to stop the pain because they never see it ending. There’s no cowardice there at all.

For me it lasted a week, but I knew it wasn’t going to last forever. You just have to get through each day and fight back by doing things that are emotionally and spiritually uplifting. If you can, you have to force yourself to socialise, to do things that put you back into a flow state and hang onto whatever things you get some joy out of. After a while, you’re back again and life is sweet.

If you have a sense of humour, it begins to come back and you might even laugh at the odd thing even if you’re still feeling sad inside.

You have to do this because your life is important. You mean something to others and probably more so than you realise when you’re in that state of mind. You have to know that one day you will feel fucking amazing again and that’s worth fighting for. There’s also amazing people out there that you don’t know yet. There are friends you have not yet met and if you’re not with someone, there is someone out there that is meant to be… for you and that person will actually love you.

Not the kind of love that people say and walk away from when their knickers get in a twist about something either. The kind that endures.

Fortunately for me I have a secret weapon and it’s running. Whenever I run uphills, it resets me. I connect with nature and feel alive again. I sweat it out of my system and I run with the gods. This is the nearest to salvation that I have so far discovered and I get my money’s worth.

Find an outlet and kick life’s ass.

When I run uphills, I keep going until I start turning into Kate Bush. So far that hasn’t happened, which may be a blessing in disguise.

If you’re reading this and you ever feel like the way I described, find something that is an outlet which will stop your thoughts looping, that will make you feel better, even if it’s only temporary. Then focus on living your best life when that depression has ebbed away.

Trust that this will happen. Feelings are only ever temporary. Loneliness does not last forever. The future you and your future life will be very different if you know in your heart you are deserving and you have not closed your heart to the possibility of being happy.

You are worth it.

Thanks for reading and see you in the next one. You know what song I’m going to play this one out with don’t you. Yes ladies and gents, it’s Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush:

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